I perceive, perhaps inaccurately, that sanctification is rarely discussed as a function of election. It’s done the other way around occasionally, where election is discussed, sanctification is mentioned as one of its effects, but I’ve never seen election mentioned as a cause of sanctification when sanctification is the subject at hand. This is a shame, because there’s something deeply evocative which is lost. Sanctification is a result of faith, belief, zeal for good works, etc. etc., it is a necessary part of the Christian life, but something I feel is not frequently mentioned is that sometimes you have no say in the matter.
This is not a theological article. This is a testimony article. God has not allowed me to wallow in my own mire throughout my life. I’ve wanted to; I’ve actively gone against God’s Will and followed down paths of sin, and God cast a chain around me, saying, “I have chosen you from before the foundations of the universe, and you are not getting away that easily.” I began my Christian walk as thoroughly heretical, I could not tell you the day or time that I began to believe in a way that is properly considered “salvific,” but I think it to matter little for, if I may sin boldly, I was elect then and I am elect now. Not that it was meaningless for me to remain in grave theological error, but that God saw me in my error and dragged me to orthodoxy, kicking and screaming.
I can’t describe it to you without sounding crazy. God has physically, directly intervened in my life to prevent me from sinning even when my entire heart was set on it. It’s not a story to be put out on the internet, but believe me. God places cars with cross-shaped taillights in my way when I need a reminder of the fateful, boring, uneventful, omni-important night that made me a Christian. God takes my stupid, skeptical, rationalizing, brilliant, boring brain and bashes it against a wall until my cracked and crippled head is oozing pus and grey matter, and then and only then do I suddenly realize that I was wrong about whatever heresy I believed.
Through anger, lust, apathy, greed, any number of horrendous sins, God turns my thoughts towards Him, reminds me at every turn that I’m acting like a retard and that I know what I need to do. The orthodox Lutheran perspective is that the human Will cooperates with God in sanctification, insofar as it does not resist the Holy Spirit, but I would like to add from pure experience that sometimes the Holy Spirit also acts contrary to and overrides the Will in the sanctifying process. Rather than what happens to most, where sin and God are furthest apart in the imagination, God has cut apart and re-assembled my mind such that the thought of sin is united with the imagination of God, forcing my sinful flesh into the painful process of rationalization. When rationalization inevitably fails in the face of God’s Word and Witness through the Church, my faith is preserved because I was never able to escape God’s all-encompassing presence in the first place. How am I supposed to “walk away” from God when He is everywhere?
It’s not my choice folks! Forget about God “giving you new desires,” like the Baptists like to go on and on about, God outright ignores my desires, frustrates my attempts at evil, mocks me from Heaven, and doesn’t let me forget about it. I was never once asked if I want to become more holy, God just makes it happen and I get dragged along. On a good day, I am zealous for good works and earnestly seek after my own sanctification. On a bad day, my mind is caught up in temptations and distractions, and God changes from His Eternal Majesty to a hallway monitor keeping me from having fun. On both days, God sanctifies me, washes me in the blood of Jesus, makes me new, etc., all without ever once asking for my consent.
Do not take what I am saying the wrong way: if I gave into temptation and impulse entirely, I would sin against the Holy Spirit and cast aside my salvation entirely. But impenitence is just about as difficult as penitence these days. The temptations of college life, which I will not go into gross detail here, are engraved on the insides of my eyelids, constantly beckoning me on into a world of perverse pleasure and intense mental relief (you cannot fathom how stressed I am), but Hey! guess what! My entire self-concept is now bound up in Christianity, and to life a lifestyle contrary to this self-concept would be so agonizing I might actually die from it. I discussed this at length in the article I wrote while I was sick. Hahahahaha, all things work out for the elect? Every day I fall into my impulses, some days more than others, and yet every day I also am forced into some “God moment,” where I am reminded of the faith in the pit of worldliness, shown the darkness of my actions and motivations, made to hear Jesus’ Name, compelled to actively refuse my own impulses, or bound to sorrow and penitence over sin.
How the hell would I even leave the faith if I wanted to? Uhhhh maybe I could accept a bunch of propositions about the universe that make no sense and also I don’t believe, lol. Have you ever tried to believe something you don’t believe? It can’t be done short of actual Soviet engineering, the knowledge centers of the brain aren’t so malleable. Continuous unrepentant sin is usually a good bet for apostasy, but guess what, the weight of the contradiction between my actions and beliefs would make deconversion as—if not more—painful as the incredibly painful and stressful conversion process. Hard to enjoy fornicating with 20 women when you know you’re condemning your soul to Hell; I can’t even seriously consider the possibility.
I have thusfar not fallen into serious public sin. But frankly, even if I did? I have little doubt that the Spirit would call me back to salvation, and I, having no other options, would be compelled to answer and hear and repent. It would be a painful process, but any rationalist will tell you that death and flames and eternal screeching is far worse.
Temptation has been RUTHLESS for the last four days in particular, it’s been terrible. I’ve been a terrible, irreligious Christian, very little Bible, very little prayer, what little religious thought has taken place has been self-congratulatory and intellectual, but guess what? God chose me from before the foundations of the Earth. That means that when I start acting like a retard, He promises to grab me by my ankles and shake the retard out of me like a criminal shaking an old lady for pennies. I literally can’t lose my faith, it’s not possible; not because I’m so cool, but because it’s not my choice. I didn’t ask to become a Christian, I didn’t say “yes” to becoming a Christian, I never said “yes” to sanctification, I just kept on sinning and somehow, I popped out holier now than I was 2 years ago. Faith produces works whether you even want to do them or not.
I was a dusty old stone in a strong man’s house, when a stronger man came and bound him with ropes and chains, taking me up into his hands. The stronger man washed me and polishes me continually, and I do not say anything, because I am a magnificent gemstone, a pearl of great price, which is TOTALLY INANIMATE and INCAPALBE OF ACTING ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.